i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
