You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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