I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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