I'm lost and stupid without you.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
