what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
