bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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