I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
