wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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