I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
