I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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