Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
