What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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