Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
