i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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