i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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