i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
