ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
