you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
