It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
