There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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