i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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