There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
