whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I supernannyed him into submission
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
