Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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