Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize