I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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