if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
