nutella sex= disaster
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize