1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
