Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
