Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
