I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
