I look better un-naked...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
