lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
