...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
