If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
