When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
