He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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