The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
handjob tips. give me some.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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