Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize