DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
