Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
