He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
