Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize