Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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