Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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