I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Randomize
