I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize