I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He kissed a someone with a penis
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you had me at cake vodka
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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