WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
