it was like eating out sand paper
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
