When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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