why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize