DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
