WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize