If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
