Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
