Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
