The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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