Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
