He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize