well he's currently spooning the coffee table
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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