If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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