it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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