she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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