i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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